Performativism
I find that the idea to disappear from existence, wiped away from peoples memories, and to erase the impact you've had to others, to be a captivating idea. Unfortunately for this idea, I like attention. I expect to be praised even after death. I expect that the time I’ve had with these individuals will help them rise up to be who they truly are. I expect them to be one with the Earth in a way I could never be. I expect people to reach great heights because of what I’ve said and done.
And yet I do nothing that is worth of praise. Only my words ring. And they don't even ring true.
I am performative to a fault. I say one thing, but act in the spirit of another.